Pet me....?

Friends have encouraged me to blog for quite some time mostly because my life is filled with so many quirky and unusual incidents. For example, on a recent trip to Philidelphia as I was boarding my return flight I had a flight attendant (male) ask if he could "pet me!" These were his exact words! True, I did have a suede coat with some fake fur trim on but...I was so suprised I really couldn't think of anything to say except..."excuse me" at that point he seemed to realize what he had said and it's implications and began to backtrack...it was funnier than the last episode of top dog (you gotta see it)! If this had been the only occurance of petting requests it would have been strange but they keep occuring so I'm wondering exactly what it is about me that turns total strangers into rubaholics! Oh yeah, it did happen again; I was buying a slurpee, getting my change out of my bag, when the clerk asks if she can rub my purse...it has some raised applique but it's kind of an unremarkable object, grey with a black paisley pattern????? The most recent episode happened last weekend, I was selling a camping trailer to a friend, drove up to her house in my convertable, this one didn't even ask just began stroking the door! Any tips from anyone out there on something witty I might say in the future `cause I have the feeling it might happen again. Similar experiences?

Jamaican Voodoo Giraffes

I have been doing some spring cleaning (yes it's tedious and gross, but kind of fun too). I decided to clean all the decorative stuff on my shelves. The fun part is remembering where you got each thing, from who, etc...I took down these giraffes; I'm really kind of scared of them and I'll tell you why. I think they've been cursed by a Jamaican voodoo priestess! I'm sure you're probably thinking to yourself, ok another nutcase (I would be) but let me tell you the story.

Have you ever been shopping in Jamaica? It's not really much fun, or at least not for me. I climbed the Dunn's River Waterfall (you know the one where you hold hands and try to balance on slippery rocks) and I wanted to look at the souvenirs before getting back on the tour bus; big mistake!

I felt like if I didn't buy something one of the shop owners might start sticking pins in a blond doll when I turned my back. They are not a happy looking bunch! Anyway, in spite of this, I found these very cute giraffes, bought them and tried to stuff them in my suitcase.

When I got home I stuck them up on a shelf and didn't think too much about them for about two months.

One morning I noticed that instead of their heads facing the same direction (their eyes looking out the window) they were now facing each other. Well, at first I thought maybe one of the kids was playing a joke on me but they are up so high I really don't think that's the case. Of coarse it could be that the arid environment in Utah contributed to drying out the wood thus causing it to twist but I like the voodoo story better, don't you?

What are you willing to risk your life for?

I've been teaching my 15 year old to drive (don't get me wrong, he's actually pretty good) and this question came to mind this morning as we were zooming through the canyon to go hiking. What am I willing to risk my life for? Well, the standard stuff that most people would say, if you asked them, I guess, like my family, my close friends...to teach my kids to drive! However, I also do some exciting (but dangerous) things like scuba dive, I've even gone cavern/cave diving. I've gone cliff jumping; I travel to foreign countries, eat strange food and talk with amusing people that I don't know & dance until the wee hours of the morning in cities that never sleep... While some of this doesn't sound extremely risky...for a lot of my friends and co-workers it's pretty much insanity! As I think about this and some of the other crazy stuff I've done, purely for entertainment. I wonder about myself and what possess me to risk so much...I guess it is summed up in the quote "I would rather have 5 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." Anyone else ?

Crazy Train?

I sat listening to a great band last night! They played great American rock-n-roll and they asked for requests. The main singer/vocalist asked me what I wanted to hear; I love Ozzy's "Crazy Train" and asked for it by name. He knew it (of course, who doesn't?) but was really surprised that I asked for it...for some reason that eludes me! He shook his head in disbelief and said, "You mean Ozzy's Crazy Train?" I said, "Is there any other?" He was still incredulous...he goes..."Do you have any tattoos?" I'm thinking...what does this have to do with anything? But since I'm sitting in a room full of people waiting for answer I say no, because it's the truth and I'm too stunned to lie, even if I wanted to. So at that point he snaps out of it and says, "Well all right!!" They played a great Crazy Train and I danced with enthusiasm. I wonder why the remark... I was dressed a lot like everyone else, cuter shoes maybe but... well I'm hoping I didn't look like someones grandmother or even worse...a stereotypical librarian!

Did you think I'd be meaner??

The funny thing about being a librarian is that most people have a stereotype of what I should look like, and be like firmly fixed in their minds...perhaps television is partly to blame for this. Most people think I love quiet, like to read non-stop and that I should be at least 55 with graying hair and glasses perched on my nose. The funnest part for me is when I meet someone new and they just can't believe it!! I'm not the only exception. One of my best friends (who is also a librarian) races Harleys and sky dives, another is a dancer, one backpacks through the wild for a month every summer...I can be quiet and read but I also love a party! I scuba dive and love poker and loud rock music. One of the funniest observations that people make is they always think I should be stern or crabby (I'm usually very flexible and happy). I've actually had people say they are surprised that I'm so nice! Weird huh? I guess I could take offense but I think it's meant as a compliment.

The tatoo that stayed in Mexico

I was reading an article about popular tatoos in the paper the other day; I have to admit some of them were very creative, unique & beautiful! I sport no tatoos of my own and I think part of the reason why is because everytime I've felt like I might want to get one I've been in a foreign country and I've learned from experience that one of the most important things about the conversation with the tatooist (is that a word?) is that there be no language barrier or misunderstanding....another stupid travel story... remember if it's absolutely ridiculous, it has happened to me or someone I know!

I was in Mexico with my husband several years back; we were on Cozumel shopping after diving all morning when suddenly, after looking at numerous designs, my man decides he wants a tatoo. The funny thing was he didn't want any that were in the sample book. He wanted one of Calvin (you know the kid that pees on everything) peeing on a Ford symbol. Well I thought that was a weird thing to have on your leg and tried to talk him out of it by suggesting that if they didn't have the design perhaps they didn't know how to do that one. So He walks over to the kid in charge of sales and starts trying to describe what he wants. I was too far away to hear what he was saying but the gestures I watched were funnier than any Calvin comic I've ever read! The guys eyes got real big and he cracked a lopsided grin... I put two and two tegether and knew he was in big trouble! I ran over and said, "honey he thinks you want something I know you don't want...the pain involved would be...well unbearable! The light dawned in his eyes, and he began laughing, me too... almost wet myself right there.

Open Water

One of the most beautiful places I have ever been is the coastal area south of Cancun. On our last trip there we were diving in a swift drift looking for turtles. My husband and I were with the dive master who was an ex-marine. There were 3 other couples with us who went with another guide to another spot, because they were beginners. So, essentially our boat left us but the operator said that they would be back by the time we were ready to surface. I was a little worried at that point but went along with the plan.

We saw some beautiful sea turtles. They are huge, beautiful, friendly creatures! It was so peaceful and almost magical to be drifting with them. Our time was up all too soon; we needed to surface since we were at the end of our air supply. You guessed it, no boat anywhere in sight!

Have you ever seen the movie Open Water? That was us, only we had the Marine and we didn't die. We floated for about 40 minutes waiting for any boat or craft; there were none. At this point our guide began cussing up a storm he was so angry. He probably could have made it to shore but I wouldn't have. So we began to rack our brians for solutions to this problem. We came up with doing the only thing we really could, which was blowing our dive whistles!

I never even thought about my dive whistle before that day but I was so glad we had them because some jet skiers finally happened by close enough to hear us blowing our little hearts out.

The jet skiers didn't pick us up but they did find our boat for us. We were in the water floating for almost two hours by the time we climbed back in! Our Marine hit the guy running the boat and nearly knocked him out...I was just glad to be going back to land.

The lesson? Never go on a split dive in Mexico!

Don't make me poisen your food!

What started out as a child's prayer has escalated way out of control! Several years back, when all of my children were young (all of them very picky eaters) my daughter volunteered to say the prayer on the evening meal. In her sweet little 10 year old voice she asked that the food would not harm our bodies! Now, I might not be Rachel Ray but I like to think that dinner is at least edible. Maybe I'm worse than I think...my kids often ask "what's in this" or even worse "who made this?" I'm getting kind of an inferiority complex built up about it. It's gotten to be such a huge family joke over the years that on my last visit to New Orleans I bought an apron that says DON'T MAKE ME POISEN YOUR FOOD! I wear it inside out when I'm in a good mood but watch out if you can read it!!!

The joys of family!

I've been so busy that I can hardly breathe! I'm still in the middle of planning my youngest daughters wedding and bridal shower and I will attend my granddaughters' blessing and birthday parties this weekend as well as my step-daughters birthday celebration, and a football game! Every weekday and weekend are so packed with activities that I'm exhausted; yet happy! I wonder when life will slow down, maybe never. I'm bored easily so it's good to be busy and surrounded by people I love. However, the weather forcast for tomorrow predicts rain so I'm thinking some chick flicks and a few hours of reading sound like just the ticket, maybe I'll even silence all the phones!

The possessed horse

I am going to Maui and Molokai at the end of July so I have been looking through travel guidebooks and visiting internet sites to look at interesting activities to occupy my time while I'm there. I love horseback riding and have spotted several rides that sound amazing. One in particular stands out; it visits an ancient Hawaiian temple. I am facinated by ruins and architecture of all kinds so this is very exciting to me (it's a must for this trip). I also love horses. They have been a part of my life for a long time. My uncle had a farm when I was young and I spent many afternoons riding bareback through his fields. His horses were gentle and easily managed. I never remember feeling fear in their presence. In fact, I have only come across one horse in my lifetime that truly seemed to hate my guts! Several years ago in Mexico, I was visiting a local cultural/theme park called Xcaret. It is located about 40 min south of Cancun. It is basically a park that explores Mayan history through a series of presentations, games, shows and other entertainment. It was around noon and very hot so my guy and I found a shady place to have lunch. I loved this spot because it was next to a corral full of horses that I wanted to look at while we ate. I asked to sit near the open, railed side so that I could get a good view of these magnificent animals. We sat down and ordered some drinks and proceeded to talk about the days adventures. Just as our appetizers arrived I heard loud galloping coming toward us; a crazy, possesed or demonic horse (I'm not sure which) decided to gallop straight at us then swing in a wide arc so that we got buried in damp dirt! It was in my hair, on my clothes, on our food...a few people were brave enough to laugh with us but most of the lunch crowd just wanted to move as far away from that side of the room as they could get! Did this horse have a fear of pale, blonde women? Did he recognize me from some past life? Did he just hate me on site? I wish I could ask him because, in spite of the mud bath, he made the day memorable and fun because he had guts and style. Hey, maybe we could be friends.

You can't flush what??

This morning I'm doing that most haneous of all tasks...plunging a stopped up toilet! The plumbing in my house has always been a bit temperamental---you need to flush several times when doing your business or you'll spend some time plunging! Some days I wish I could wring the original plumber's neck! I guess it could be worse, much worse, as we found out in Mexico, on vacation several years ago. I was staying at one of those all inclusive resorts. It was pretty nice, on the ocean, several restaurants on the property, and a live band on the weekends. There was even a jacuzzi in our room. So, all in all, I liked it a lot until I came back from sightseeing one afternoon and had to wade through an inch of sewage to get to the bathroom! Apparently you aren't supposed to flush anything in Mexico, yes I mean anything. I had noticed the signs on their restroom doors but I assumed they meant the same thing that ours do...feminine products, toys, cell phones...no, this is in fact not true. You are expected to put your waste (and the paper you use to remove it) in a can next to the toilet! Oh my! What a bacterial nightmare! I'm not even that much of a germ freak (sometimes I forget to wash my hands) but the act of putting poop in a can next to the toilet just grosses me out. It's when incidents like this happen that I'm so grateful for my messed up house in this messed up country. It's still the only place I want to live on earth. Hey, at least I can flush stuff, eventually.

In search of Wendell or Dan the Dollar Man

So I had more fun in Hawaii than should be legal! It all began when I took a boat from Maui to Molokai, and met the Dollar Man. The Dollar rent-a-car shuttle met us at the ferry dock and this very nice guy took us in to town to get groceries, waited while we bought them, helped us load them up, and then took us to the car rental place to get our car. All of this after hours! He told us that nothing was open on Sundays since we had already told him we were staying in a condo; he was extra helpful. Now for the horrible part---I woke up Sunday morning and realized I had forgot to tip him! Ouch!!! I spent the next three days trying to track him down because I felt so bad but it was harder than you might think even though it's a very small island. It turns out he has several jobs. I ran into another driver and inquired about Wendell (whose name is really Dan) and was told it was his day off. I finally ran into Dan at the ferry dock, apologized profusely and gave him a big tip (with interest). He was the so sweet about it...I want to go to Molokai all over again!

Red Neck Heaven....

I had the best time last night at a demolition derby! It was held in a small arena in a small town...lots of kids, cowboy boots and whoopin' & hollerin'. I cheered until my throat started to hurt. There is something thrilling about watching cars smash into each other over and over. We sat so low that we got a dirt bath several times as the cars spun their wheels, engines growling like savage beasts on the loose! I sort of felt like (enthusiastically) growling back!

Many of my associates and co-workers would be surprised that I would enjoy such an event. They see a lady in suits/dresses and heals that attends the opera and the ballet regularly. A woman who has a load of education and a plan or a checklist for everything. The derby part of me remains hidden a lot of the time...that part is my roots.

I grew up in a trailer park (parents were divorced and Mom worked a lot), rode horses and went dirt biking as often as possible. Somewhere along the way education and acquaintances have changed my behavior but they can't quite kick the redneck out of me!

Maybe you can have it all.

give me a virgin...

My youngest daughter (who's 21) came over last night to have me help her plan her upcoming wedding, part of which will take place on Maui and Molokia this summer...well actually the honeymoon part will be this summer, the wedding is on Halloween, in Vegas (don't ask, I don't know). Anyway, we were reliving the last time we went to Oahu together which was about three years ago, a girls trip (my two daughters, me, and a friend from graduate school), the best trip I ever had with my girls...we were all sitting at Haleiwa Joes (North Shore, Oahu) having lunch...my daughter was admiring all of the fancy drinking glasses and wishing she could have a drink just to hold (and possibly twirl). I said, "honey you can have any drink on the menu, just say the word "virgin" then I proceeded to explain what this meant...she sat quietly contemplating this information for minute then said, "so if I want a drink with alcohol, should I ask for one that's had sex?" The people at the table next to us laughed so hard one of them fell off his chair!

The King of Hana

While on Maui we decided to enjoy the road to Hana. It is one of the best experiences I have ever had! The road is completely insane as it is really one lane but traffic still goes in both directions around winding curves between rock and ocean for about 54 miles! Fun but nerve wracking! After a long and unbelievably pleasant day we were driving slowly back along this road when suddenly a local pulled out in front of us going quite a bit faster than we were (of coarse he knew the road much better). We decided to follow him for two reasons: 1. He knew what he was doing and was cutting our time almost in half. 2. The guy sitting in the truck bed was really amusing! He was facing forward (rather than backward like most truck bed sitters do). He had his feet through the cab window and he had a long trailing scarf around his head. This made him look like one of those guys in the old movies that race chariots or something. We decided to name him "The King of Hana" and proceeded to laugh at, and love him all the way back to civilization. Thanks King! You made a wonderful splash at the end of a long and perfect day!!

Games and life...

I bought a new board game the other day called Loaded Questions; I love this kind of game, a game where you find out stuff about people that you didn't know and sometimes you find out surprising stuff about yourself! One of the questions was, "If you could have your last words memorialized, (printed on your tombstone or quoted for future generations) what would you want them to be? I really hadn't thought about it but I realized mine would be simple - There is no tomorrow. Make the most of today. Why did I choose this? I think recent deaths and those in my immediate family who have died quite young explain it. A 19 year olds unexpected, crushing death...a 38 year olds surprising and untimely end...tomorrow is never certain. Tell the people you love that they matter, and why, today!

Gratitude...the best medicine

I haven't written much recently because I had an accident on November 10th that really messed up my left knee. I began feeling quite melancholy about life because of the pain and inconvenience; my attitude was in serious need of adjustment by Friday last! A series of things happened that made me feel better. First, someone offered an apology and some help. Second, I spent time with my daughters and their sweet families. Third, my boss sent a note that made me think he cared about how I was feeling. Fourth, I went to church and listened to someone list what they were thankful for...ordinary everyday things, but things that are wonderful, just the same and finally I read my oldest daughter's gratitude list on her blog. All of these things started me thinking of what I am grateful for. This process has healed my rotten outlook and is helping me face future pain. Things I am thankful for: My children that I can walk again my husband my home music of all kinds beaches sunsets and sunrises stars convertibles motorcycles work teenagers books computers pictures friends chocolate pie spaghetti lobster cruises Disney Coke & Pepsi children my grand-daughters education teachers scriptures prayers life my mother hugs jokes & laughter the beauty of the earth Christmas Halloween decorations flowers sunlight

Blessings

I'm so grateful today for so many things. A huge fire caused evacuation of 5000 people in our community on Sunday night. Almost every house was spared and no lives were lost! I consider this truly amazing considering the fact that 10,000 acres burned. I'm so grateful to my sister-in-law for putting us all up for the night. She is amazing! In addition to all of this, I also had to go and get my yearly mammogram. I found out all is well... was kind of worried that maybe it wasn't because of family history and previous experience. I'm so grateful for my health. I still feel so young & strong... almost invincible most days. Also very thankful to spend the day with my youngest son just wandering, talking, and enjoying each others company. :)