August 8,
2024
Changes
The seasons show us the way. They show us that change is
beautiful, necessary, even vital to life. We value the quite winter mornings
when all is peaceful, white, and still. We are filled with awe at the rebirth
spring brings as we gaze at the flowering cherry trees, new lambs, and downy
chicks. We are filled with rapture by the bright colors that come forth in the fall,
by the return of crisp autumn nights, bonfires, and the bounty of the harvest.
Each season is beautiful, each brings us joy, if we allow it.
We enjoy the changes the earth goes through, the beauty this
brings into our lives; why is it that we do not allow or value change in
ourselves, and others we love, as time passes? We are, after all, part of this
earth and like the earth we must change.
Our bodies go through so many transformations from birth to death
if we are allowed the full span of human aging. As babies we rely completely on
our parents, as toddlers we begin to fight for our independence as we walk, run,
and develop speech. As children we play sports, make friends, and enjoy
spreading our wings as we learn so many new things. As teenagers we begin to separate
ourselves from our parents, rely more on our friends. We believe we are indestructible
and that we will live forever. Youth and vitality bloom within us. As young
adults we soar to new heights as we complete our education, marry, and start
our own families. Then, in mid-adulthood we raise those families, further our
careers and watch as our parents decline. Finally, in old age we start a whole
new path, toward activities we may not have had time for as we raised children
and furthered our careers. We find time for things we have always wanted to
pursue, passions that have lain dormant for many years.
As I think about the cycles of life, I realize that these
cycles occur in our relationships as well. When we make a new friend the joy of
discovery motivates and inspires us to spend many hours together. Sometimes as
that friendship moves on, we begin to see flaws in each other. What we once
thought was perfect, becomes riddled with doubts, unless we realize that all
things must change, and we accept that all relationships must do the same or
they become like too many cloudless, blue-sky days. Sometimes we wish for
winter, for change, for something new.
For those of us who choose to marry, our relationships go
through a similar process. When we meet someone, everything is new, we are
filled with the joy of discovery, the thrill that there is someone like us,
someone who values us, who celebrates our existence. Our thoughts are filled
with them, and we desire to be with them constantly. After a while we may
decide to live together maybe even marry. Eventually we learn everything there
is to know about that person and we forge ahead making new memories together.
As we do this, some of the things that originally brought us together begin to
disappear because our relationship is an evolving, growing, changing thing.
This is healthy and follows the pattern of all things. Yet, many times we pause
and ask each other, “why don’t you do that anymore?” What we forget to do, many
times, is look at the beautiful thing that the relationship has become, or
could become, if put more energy, thought, and action into it again.
Let us then learn from the trees, the flowers, the animals,
the earth we live upon and value the changes in our bodies and our
relationships. Let us look at the beauty in change and value it. Let us look at
the ones we love and celebrate the unique people they are and accept that our
friends and partners (even our bodies) give us what they can, when they can.
Let us celebrate by creating new paths, by trying new things, by remembering
our shared past and feeling blessed, rather than cheated, by the opportunity to
go forward into the future to forge new experience, new life and a stronger
love for each other and the seasons of life.
