August 8, 2024

Changes

The seasons show us the way. They show us that change is beautiful, necessary, even vital to life. We value the quite winter mornings when all is peaceful, white, and still. We are filled with awe at the rebirth spring brings as we gaze at the flowering cherry trees, new lambs, and downy chicks. We are filled with rapture by the bright colors that come forth in the fall, by the return of crisp autumn nights, bonfires, and the bounty of the harvest. Each season is beautiful, each brings us joy, if we allow it.

We enjoy the changes the earth goes through, the beauty this brings into our lives; why is it that we do not allow or value change in ourselves, and others we love, as time passes? We are, after all, part of this earth and like the earth we must change.

Our bodies go through so many transformations from birth to death if we are allowed the full span of human aging. As babies we rely completely on our parents, as toddlers we begin to fight for our independence as we walk, run, and develop speech. As children we play sports, make friends, and enjoy spreading our wings as we learn so many new things. As teenagers we begin to separate ourselves from our parents, rely more on our friends. We believe we are indestructible and that we will live forever. Youth and vitality bloom within us. As young adults we soar to new heights as we complete our education, marry, and start our own families. Then, in mid-adulthood we raise those families, further our careers and watch as our parents decline. Finally, in old age we start a whole new path, toward activities we may not have had time for as we raised children and furthered our careers. We find time for things we have always wanted to pursue, passions that have lain dormant for many years.

As I think about the cycles of life, I realize that these cycles occur in our relationships as well. When we make a new friend the joy of discovery motivates and inspires us to spend many hours together. Sometimes as that friendship moves on, we begin to see flaws in each other. What we once thought was perfect, becomes riddled with doubts, unless we realize that all things must change, and we accept that all relationships must do the same or they become like too many cloudless, blue-sky days. Sometimes we wish for winter, for change, for something new.

For those of us who choose to marry, our relationships go through a similar process. When we meet someone, everything is new, we are filled with the joy of discovery, the thrill that there is someone like us, someone who values us, who celebrates our existence. Our thoughts are filled with them, and we desire to be with them constantly. After a while we may decide to live together maybe even marry. Eventually we learn everything there is to know about that person and we forge ahead making new memories together. As we do this, some of the things that originally brought us together begin to disappear because our relationship is an evolving, growing, changing thing. This is healthy and follows the pattern of all things. Yet, many times we pause and ask each other, “why don’t you do that anymore?” What we forget to do, many times, is look at the beautiful thing that the relationship has become, or could become, if put more energy, thought, and action into it again.

Let us then learn from the trees, the flowers, the animals, the earth we live upon and value the changes in our bodies and our relationships. Let us look at the beauty in change and value it. Let us look at the ones we love and celebrate the unique people they are and accept that our friends and partners (even our bodies) give us what they can, when they can. Let us celebrate by creating new paths, by trying new things, by remembering our shared past and feeling blessed, rather than cheated, by the opportunity to go forward into the future to forge new experience, new life and a stronger love for each other and the seasons of life.