Open Water

One of the most beautiful places I have ever been is the coastal area south of Cancun. On our last trip there we were diving in a swift drift looking for turtles. My husband and I were with the dive master who was an ex-marine. There were 3 other couples with us who went with another guide to another spot, because they were beginners. So, essentially our boat left us but the operator said that they would be back by the time we were ready to surface. I was a little worried at that point but went along with the plan.

We saw some beautiful sea turtles. They are huge, beautiful, friendly creatures! It was so peaceful and almost magical to be drifting with them. Our time was up all too soon; we needed to surface since we were at the end of our air supply. You guessed it, no boat anywhere in sight!

Have you ever seen the movie Open Water? That was us, only we had the Marine and we didn't die. We floated for about 40 minutes waiting for any boat or craft; there were none. At this point our guide began cussing up a storm he was so angry. He probably could have made it to shore but I wouldn't have. So we began to rack our brians for solutions to this problem. We came up with doing the only thing we really could, which was blowing our dive whistles!

I never even thought about my dive whistle before that day but I was so glad we had them because some jet skiers finally happened by close enough to hear us blowing our little hearts out.

The jet skiers didn't pick us up but they did find our boat for us. We were in the water floating for almost two hours by the time we climbed back in! Our Marine hit the guy running the boat and nearly knocked him out...I was just glad to be going back to land.

The lesson? Never go on a split dive in Mexico!

Don't make me poisen your food!

What started out as a child's prayer has escalated way out of control! Several years back, when all of my children were young (all of them very picky eaters) my daughter volunteered to say the prayer on the evening meal. In her sweet little 10 year old voice she asked that the food would not harm our bodies! Now, I might not be Rachel Ray but I like to think that dinner is at least edible. Maybe I'm worse than I think...my kids often ask "what's in this" or even worse "who made this?" I'm getting kind of an inferiority complex built up about it. It's gotten to be such a huge family joke over the years that on my last visit to New Orleans I bought an apron that says DON'T MAKE ME POISEN YOUR FOOD! I wear it inside out when I'm in a good mood but watch out if you can read it!!!

The joys of family!

I've been so busy that I can hardly breathe! I'm still in the middle of planning my youngest daughters wedding and bridal shower and I will attend my granddaughters' blessing and birthday parties this weekend as well as my step-daughters birthday celebration, and a football game! Every weekday and weekend are so packed with activities that I'm exhausted; yet happy! I wonder when life will slow down, maybe never. I'm bored easily so it's good to be busy and surrounded by people I love. However, the weather forcast for tomorrow predicts rain so I'm thinking some chick flicks and a few hours of reading sound like just the ticket, maybe I'll even silence all the phones!

The possessed horse

I am going to Maui and Molokai at the end of July so I have been looking through travel guidebooks and visiting internet sites to look at interesting activities to occupy my time while I'm there. I love horseback riding and have spotted several rides that sound amazing. One in particular stands out; it visits an ancient Hawaiian temple. I am facinated by ruins and architecture of all kinds so this is very exciting to me (it's a must for this trip). I also love horses. They have been a part of my life for a long time. My uncle had a farm when I was young and I spent many afternoons riding bareback through his fields. His horses were gentle and easily managed. I never remember feeling fear in their presence. In fact, I have only come across one horse in my lifetime that truly seemed to hate my guts! Several years ago in Mexico, I was visiting a local cultural/theme park called Xcaret. It is located about 40 min south of Cancun. It is basically a park that explores Mayan history through a series of presentations, games, shows and other entertainment. It was around noon and very hot so my guy and I found a shady place to have lunch. I loved this spot because it was next to a corral full of horses that I wanted to look at while we ate. I asked to sit near the open, railed side so that I could get a good view of these magnificent animals. We sat down and ordered some drinks and proceeded to talk about the days adventures. Just as our appetizers arrived I heard loud galloping coming toward us; a crazy, possesed or demonic horse (I'm not sure which) decided to gallop straight at us then swing in a wide arc so that we got buried in damp dirt! It was in my hair, on my clothes, on our food...a few people were brave enough to laugh with us but most of the lunch crowd just wanted to move as far away from that side of the room as they could get! Did this horse have a fear of pale, blonde women? Did he recognize me from some past life? Did he just hate me on site? I wish I could ask him because, in spite of the mud bath, he made the day memorable and fun because he had guts and style. Hey, maybe we could be friends.

You can't flush what??

This morning I'm doing that most haneous of all tasks...plunging a stopped up toilet! The plumbing in my house has always been a bit temperamental---you need to flush several times when doing your business or you'll spend some time plunging! Some days I wish I could wring the original plumber's neck! I guess it could be worse, much worse, as we found out in Mexico, on vacation several years ago. I was staying at one of those all inclusive resorts. It was pretty nice, on the ocean, several restaurants on the property, and a live band on the weekends. There was even a jacuzzi in our room. So, all in all, I liked it a lot until I came back from sightseeing one afternoon and had to wade through an inch of sewage to get to the bathroom! Apparently you aren't supposed to flush anything in Mexico, yes I mean anything. I had noticed the signs on their restroom doors but I assumed they meant the same thing that ours do...feminine products, toys, cell phones...no, this is in fact not true. You are expected to put your waste (and the paper you use to remove it) in a can next to the toilet! Oh my! What a bacterial nightmare! I'm not even that much of a germ freak (sometimes I forget to wash my hands) but the act of putting poop in a can next to the toilet just grosses me out. It's when incidents like this happen that I'm so grateful for my messed up house in this messed up country. It's still the only place I want to live on earth. Hey, at least I can flush stuff, eventually.

In search of Wendell or Dan the Dollar Man

So I had more fun in Hawaii than should be legal! It all began when I took a boat from Maui to Molokai, and met the Dollar Man. The Dollar rent-a-car shuttle met us at the ferry dock and this very nice guy took us in to town to get groceries, waited while we bought them, helped us load them up, and then took us to the car rental place to get our car. All of this after hours! He told us that nothing was open on Sundays since we had already told him we were staying in a condo; he was extra helpful. Now for the horrible part---I woke up Sunday morning and realized I had forgot to tip him! Ouch!!! I spent the next three days trying to track him down because I felt so bad but it was harder than you might think even though it's a very small island. It turns out he has several jobs. I ran into another driver and inquired about Wendell (whose name is really Dan) and was told it was his day off. I finally ran into Dan at the ferry dock, apologized profusely and gave him a big tip (with interest). He was the so sweet about it...I want to go to Molokai all over again!

Red Neck Heaven....

I had the best time last night at a demolition derby! It was held in a small arena in a small town...lots of kids, cowboy boots and whoopin' & hollerin'. I cheered until my throat started to hurt. There is something thrilling about watching cars smash into each other over and over. We sat so low that we got a dirt bath several times as the cars spun their wheels, engines growling like savage beasts on the loose! I sort of felt like (enthusiastically) growling back!

Many of my associates and co-workers would be surprised that I would enjoy such an event. They see a lady in suits/dresses and heals that attends the opera and the ballet regularly. A woman who has a load of education and a plan or a checklist for everything. The derby part of me remains hidden a lot of the time...that part is my roots.

I grew up in a trailer park (parents were divorced and Mom worked a lot), rode horses and went dirt biking as often as possible. Somewhere along the way education and acquaintances have changed my behavior but they can't quite kick the redneck out of me!

Maybe you can have it all.